The Circus comes to town!

Took the kids to the circus tonight, giving Holly a well deserved night off -- at least a quasi night off. Here's what happened.

Arrive at Circus at 6:40 for a 7:00 show time. I tell the kids there will be animals we can look at. I told Evalyn when I was a kid, my mommy took me to the circus, and I got to ride on elephants. But upon arrival, no animals, 'cept for the $2 pony rides. We passed on that.

We Get to the gate and the kids get in for free. I pay $15

6:34 -- We find our seats, inside a large pavilion at county fair grounds. We sit in the top row, though there were only about 7 rows. There was a large center ring in the center of the dirt floor pavilion. The ring appeared to be canvass material with a red and white bulls-eye design. I presume it was meant to mimic a one-ring circus under the Big Top. The seating was ordinary aluminum bench seats not unlike those you would find at high school football field. The seating was only on one side of the pavilion.

6:45 - the Carnie-in-Charge comes out at and announces that they are running late so the show will start at 7:15.

Kids are really tired and we decide to kill time by eating cotton candy for $6 bucks. Evalyn starts crying for no apparent reason. I ask what's wrong and she says that she misses mommy. I tell her its mommy's night off and the animals will soon come out.

7:15 start time comes and goes.

7:20 - Carnie announces that the concession stand will close when the show starts. But it would reopen for the intermission but we have two minutes to buy our Coca Cola and Sprite.

7:25 - The carnie comes back to the PA system and plays the traditional circus music. Henry dances, Evalyn still misses her mommy and her Pink (blanket for sleepy time).

7:30 -- Henry starts picking stuff off the now crowded grandstands and putting things into his mouth. I hope it was our cotton candy debris but I fear for the worst.

7:32 -- Carnie comes on and says, "Pony Rides are wrapping up. Last call for a pony ride. Two Dollars only, Boys and Girls."

7:35 -- The grand beginning....finally. The Carnie begins, "Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls...blah...blah.blaah..blaah..blah!

7:36 -- The Amazing Juan comes on. He's ten and dressed like a cross between vintage John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever era and the the Lone Ranger. His act is okay. He climbs on a platform that looks like a large circular cocktail table. He stands on a balance board and rocks back and forth. He goes on for about 10 minutes, each minute he does something more challenging. He slips a couple of times but the crowd cheers, anyway. Evalyn and Henry like this act. They clap and get into it. Finally, I am getting my $21 dollars worth, I think to myself. The young performer ends his routine by jumping down from the platform and does a couple of flips on the ground as he makes his exit.

7:45 -- next act. This is simply a man dressed in a dog outfit...sort of looking like McGruff the Crime Dog, only this dog is more rust colored. Henry finds this act amusing and really likes it. Evalyn was afraid of the mascot as soon as she saw him be introduced by the carnie. Evalyn crawls behind me and wedges herself between my back and the chain link fence that served as the top row guard rail of the bleachers. McGruff comes over to our section and Henry gives the pup a high-five. Evalyn, peeks out from behind my back and McGrufff pats her on her legs. She is uncertain what to think.

7:50 - Next up are the clowns. Only they were not in make up and did not have a distinguised red nose. Very plain. They just sported baggy blue clothes, clown shoes and undersized hats, as is typical of clown haberdashery. Two clowns come out. One is a boy of 8 or 9 years, the other is a grown up, looking to be upwards of 40 years old. They don't say anything but communicate through ear piercing whistles. The kind referees blow. The routine suggested a playground for corrupt traffic cops whistling at congested cars in NY City. The cadence of the whistles were sort of on point, but not really. It was hard to follow. Then some dude of about 20 years old comes out in plain old street clothes. He was a performer but he could have been a disgruntled concessionaire for all I knew. Anyway, the dude starts taking away the Clowns' whistles. But each time the guy takes a whistle the other clown pulls a new whistle out of his baggy pants. The dude keeps taking the whistles and every time his back is turned, one clown or the other breaks out another whistle. This goes on for another ten times and finally ends.

I quit looking at my watch. Next act -- Carnie comes out and introduces his "circus agents" - who are 7 and 8 year old girls who sell generic coloring books to the crowd for $1 each. The carnie explains that during intermission kids can get the coloring books autographed by the performers. This takes about 5 minutes.

Carnie introduces the next act -- "From La Paz, Bolivia...please welcome the Hula Hoop Maven (?) . She is dressed in a pink leotard and it sparkles and Evalyn likes her right away. She is fast with the hulas and can even make them go upward, which I have never seen before. I was impressed. Then she does 20 hula hoops at a time -- or as the carnie helpfully explained, "She will do 20 hula hoops simultaneously -- meaning she'll do 20 at the same time." Well she did 20 and it was good while it lasted -- all of 4 seconds.

8 pm (roughly) -- Carnie comes back out and says, we have special peanuts from South Carolina that we want to share with you. I thought this was quite random and did not flow well with the rapport between the Carnie and the audience. "These are not just your everyday peanuts...these are traditions," he continued. "We want you to have them for just $1. But this will last for two minutes and two minutes only." The grown up clown from the earlier act cames back out with a box of small brown paper bags with the peanuts. The carnie explains that there are tickets in some of the bags that can reedem for free cotton candy or a colorful balloon. But not all bags, he reminds the audience, contain a winning ticket. For a minute no one goes down to buy the peanuts. I am thinking, this could get interesting if this little drama continues to unfold this way. But, alas, some little girl goes down and gets her peanuts and, you guessed it, she got a lucky ticket. She won a balloon which triggered a hoard of other little girls and their moms into action. This takes about 8 minutes.

8:10 -- Daddy, Henry, and Evalyn are ready to call it quits. "Where's the elephants, daddy?" Evalyn asks. "There are no elephants, sweety, this circus is lame!"

But we stick it out for one more act. Carnie comes back to the PA System and announces that Hannah Montana impersonators comprise the next act. For some reason, I felt it rude to get up and leave in the middle of the act so I tell the kids we'll go when the girl is done dancing and lip syncing to very scratchy music. The kids are growing impatient. Hannah Montana impersonator is about 12 years old. Then a 4 year old girl is announced and the Carnie calls her "Mini-Montana." Then a toddler comes out -- no older than Linnea, I guess, and she starts dancing. The Carnie announces her as Miley Cyrus. Then our friend from the first act -- the 10 year old Travolta look-a-like comes back out -- this time vintage Grease Travolta. And he starts lip syncing. They finally end the act and I get up and leave with the kids. All three of us are eager to go. Evalyn had been asking for a drink but I refused to pay the 2 bucks for a can of coke. So she is happy to be going home for the simple pleasure of drinking some water.

On the way out, the carnie says: "well folks, that brings us to our intermission. We will resume in 15 minutes....get your cotton candy and snow cones and Coca Cola products (Coke and Sprite -- nothing else) for just $1 now.

I was the first one out the door and by the time I got the car -- many others were leaving.

Fun times, Holly....sorry you missed out!